The Limits of Coping

I recently had a therapy session with a client who has a very long history of chronic illness. It amazes me how she has persevered to overcome many of the negative effects of her condition, skillfully adapting to limitations imposed by her disease. Yet in spite of all of her efforts, she has been too ill to keep her job, and certain symptoms can’t seem to be controlled. To her consternation and dismay, her medical condition now affects her quality of life. She struggles to cope with the realization that no matter how much she tries, she can’t overcome the effects of her disease. Even though my client has tremendous strength, resiliency and determination, she can’t plan, think or will her way around these circumstances. At times, she says she’s at her ‘wit’s end’ in dealing with her illness.

So the question arises as to what can we do when we come to our ‘wit’s end’? What can we do when we come to the limits of our mental and emotional resources? The answer to this quandary comes not from our minds and personality, not through our attempts to control our life’s circumstances (which ultimately fail), but from an entirely different direction. This direction takes us inward, beyond our minds and emotions, towards a state of ‘well-being’ independent of our external circumstances. Through various awareness practices (such as meditation), we can begin to touch the core of our being as separate from our personality, finding (perhaps surprisingly if we’ve never tried to) a source of well-being within. Since sooner or later we will all find ourselves at our ‘wit’s end’, knowing another path to wellness can prove invaluable.